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Day 10–Still on the playground and out at recess!

Today the clouds lifted and the sun came out. Thunder Mountain is in clear view with some low hanging clouds just barely kissing the top of the mountain. Here we are 4500 ft up.

I have two dogs Sedona a Siberian Husky and Toby a catahula hound. We adopted Toby a little over a year ago. Despite his 3 regular meals a day, he still eats them as if each was his last. He obviously did not get food regularly in his life before us. Sedona, on the other hand whom I have had since a mere 12 weeks old has always had plenty. Plenty of water, food, socialization, and love. Sedona, use to self-regulate her own food before Toby. She has adapted to 3x a day but still only eats when she is hungry and only what she wants. Jen and I became so frustrated with all the crap in dog food, we started buying an organic vegetarian blend and supplemented it with organic chicken, beef, fish. Yes—I know—we are those kind of dog owners.  But I digress I wonder if Toby will ever know he doesn’t have to eat each meal like it is his last. Do we ever work out our issues from our childhood? The short answer is yes and no.

My new best friend and I had our first fight. We both triggered each other and got angry. We get angry and show it. We talked it over today and so much came through. We were each little Timmy and little Joy. Amago therapy says that you bring people into your life to trigger you and help you work out all the issues you didn’t as a kid. All the hurts, all the pain.  The good news is, after talking it over we both realized the fight wasn’t over the innocuous stuff but it was the innocuous stuff that brought up the old stuff that we both needed to express and clear. I believe that anger is ok in metered doses. In any relationship, if you care you will fight, you will argue, you will disagree. I believe it is healthy and should bring you closer together not further apart. Also some of us believe that if you fight once that’s it—it is over! Friends no more or boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are done—adios. Well, maybe that is what it meant in a dysfunctional relationship but when two people care they care enough to work through it. How many friends do you have today that you can and do fight with? As I have gotten older, the number dwindles.

I was drawn to this obsidian rock in a new age store and bought it. I asked the retail clerk about it and he said that it was picked up from the Trail of Tears. The story was that when the Indians were forced to move to reservations in the middle of winter, so many died trying to get there and those that survived were frustrated, angered, saddened, overall traumatized. These obsidian rocks are supposed to help release anger and let it go. I started carrying it with me and felt lighter, felt different. During my fight with Tim, I meditated with the rock and 24hours later was ready to talk. It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe in the magic of rocks what matters is are you open to using something when it touches you deep down? Are you open to it and what healing it will bring? I held my rock when we were talking our fight through and it was not as heavy not as burdensome. I

Next time you find yourself disagreeing with someone—consider it a gift to work something else out that has nothing to do with it.

Every day here in Sedona, the sunrise and sunset is an event. Imagine that. There is something so important about pausing at the beginning and at the end of each day and giving thanks. Saying, Namaste. It is beautiful to be alive and to experience life and all its wonderous glory. Stopping, calms the spirit, quiets the mind and opens breath. Just like saying “I love you” to a spouse, a child, a friend—it is important to stop, pause and connect with what is most important. Maya Angelou said, “We will always forget what someone did but we will always remember how they made us feel.”

About Joy Rain

Joy has been a diversity and inclusion consultant and mediator for over ten years. Prior to consulting, she was professor of Psychology and Women Studies. Joy has a Master of Arts in Psychology (Boston University) and a Master of Education in Social Justice Education (UMASS Amherst).

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