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Day 30-Eggs, Julia, & Housework

Today is still the beginning of this New Year! Most people have it off, banks are closed, and the Sedona newspaper is not publishing a Monday edition.  Today, my sweety went back to Northampton. It is strange, being a married person, being on my own for 8 weeks with a quick 1week visit.  I don’t know how my mom and stepdad do it. They have basically lived separately their whole 8 year marriage. I love my wife and want to spend my everyday with her. If I didn’t then I just wouldn’t be married—not worth it. Anyway, too each his or her own. Whatever works.

When the dogs and I arrived home, I started cooking a beautiful lunch/dinner for myself. I remember when I was single and people would say, if your by yourself why cook. Or my favorite quote is mostly women is, “I don’t have anyone to cook for so I don’t cook.” I learned when I was single and now when I am alone, it is important to cook beautiful things for myself. I have to stay in touch with Joy and what I like for food and that I am worth it to make a meal. I never cooked for myself until I was 25 until then I only cooked for others.

I still remember being newly single after my first long term love walking down the supermarket aisle for the first time realizing the only person I had to purchase food for was me. I could buy whatever I wanted, I didn’t have to think of anyone else. I realized then just how much I had ignored myself, what kind of food I like in that relationship. In Julia Roberts movie Runaway Bride, the running question that Richard Gere poses is, “How do you like your eggs?”

Julia realizes that in each relationship her favorite kind of egg was based on what her fiancé at the time liked, she had never figured out what she liked. I won’t give away the end for anyone who still hasn’t seen this gem but needless to say, she figures it out.  Do you know what kind of eggs you like? Do you realize you are worth it to make a beautiful meal just for you? So many of us, women and men are taught to care for others and ignore ourselves. I say, you can’t take care of or love anyone else until you can do both for yourself. Otherwise, as I learned in my first long term relationship, you lose yourself.

The good news is like housework, you can always find yourself again, just like you always have to clean over and over again. The Universe gives you opportunities to find yourself if you are lost.  Anyway here’s what on the menu for January 2, 2012—Tilpia with fresh celery greens, panko bread crumbs, and heirloom red rice with a hint of lemon.  Bon Apetit!

About Joy Rain

Joy has been a diversity and inclusion consultant and mediator for over ten years. Prior to consulting, she was professor of Psychology and Women Studies. Joy has a Master of Arts in Psychology (Boston University) and a Master of Education in Social Justice Education (UMASS Amherst).


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