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Endings, beginnings & inbetween

Twenty-nine days ago, I left Sedona. Today is the first day I feel great. I have spent the last month adjusting to re-entry into this different location, this place with a lower vibrational pull called Northampton. I remember as I neared the end of my drive across the country, in Pennsylvania I felt it. I felt as if I was driving backwards on the I-81 and then it hit me, I was re-adjusting to the New England latitudes and longitudes. My energy was shifting again.

Upon returning to Northampton, I sought out vortexes. Are there any here? Are they only in Sedona??? I found one at Smith College. It is in a Japanese meditation garden that sits on the edge of a natural circle with a beautiful hill and slow-moving river below. From the meditation spot, one faces the East and sees the morning sun rise. The dogs and I hung out there a few mornings. Sedona instantly lied down and Toby sat proudly next to me just taking it in. Our furry companions know more than we often give them credit for.

However, it didn’t feel enough. My spirit was not feeling nourished in the same way as in Sedona. I also have spent this month focusing on my family’s business (Northampton Pride & Joy) and my Change Practice (real estate & life coaching). Ahh the many hats  of home—of life really. We all wear them. Do you we wear them with gusto, with bravado, with blah, with caution??? How do you wear your hats? I imagine each day we were our hats differently. There is an ebb and flow to what is needed, what needs to be tended to and what to let go.

Since returning from Sedona, I am more aware of my limits—my boundaries. I focus on what seems to come naturally with little effort and crystal clarity and less on what is grey and seems complicated. I am leading my Change Practice differently. I am more in tune and in touch with how to create and support the change my clients are seeking. But something has been missing—that spiritual connection to something greater until today.

Today, I took my first hot yoga class. I returned to the studio I went to 1year ago. Each pose inspired feelings of strength, weakness, physical exhaustion and then it hit me–Know your limits! I started the yoga class focused on being gentle with myself and I ended with realizing my limits. In the past, despite my long periods between hot yoga classes, the heat never bothered me it rather energized me. Tonight, I felt the heat. At one point, I knew I needed to go into Child’s pose or I would have fainted. I gave into it. I accepted it and I took care of it. I didn’t feel not good enough for not completing the pose or bad about myself for not being in better physical shape. I actually felt proud of myself for tending to what I needed.

What is Child’s pose anyway? I don’t know the ins and outs of yoga practice. I do know that this pose is about getting down on hands and knees, while stretching, grounding and taking care.  When was the last time you just took care of what you needed? Just grounded yourself and let yourself be? As the class I ended, I felt it. That nourishment of spirit—the sense of feeling full, feeling taking care of by something bigger and oh what a relief. This feeling cleared all else that was keeping my mind chattering and my heart heavy. I literally felt my heart and throat open and my mind went on vacation and was quiet. Did you know when your mind is quiet that is when your best thinking happens:)

So, I am declaring today—Day 1 of my new trajectory. Spending 50 days in Sedona changed my course and today is the first day of my new course. That is the beauty of leading our own lives. We determine when a new phase starts and stops. We can always begin again and start fresh.


About Joy Rain

Joy has been a diversity and inclusion consultant and mediator for over ten years. Prior to consulting, she was professor of Psychology and Women Studies. Joy has a Master of Arts in Psychology (Boston University) and a Master of Education in Social Justice Education (UMASS Amherst).


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