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Life, Death & Presents

My last words. What would they be? Why does it matter? Why consider this possibility? Life and death are connected. They are like a mirror and when you look into it, we can see our life and our death. Recently, I had a friend pass away suddenly, unexpectedly and quickly. Dennis’ passing shook me up and reminded me that there is this grander plan that is in play. I spent so much time, plotting and strategizing my professional evolution yet never once in my plans did this eventuality enter my consciousness as an impetus for forward motion, for change. Never. I remember the last time I saw Dennis and I didn’t speak to him because he seemed angry so I left the office without saying goodbye. The last time I spoke with him was when unbeknownst to me it was from his hospital bed and just a short 48hours prior to respiratory failure. We just spoke business and it was pleasant but certainly nothing like the last conversation I wished to have with him. If I knew it was our last conversation, I would have told him again just how wonderful of a person, a leader, a boss he was and how is heart and gentle soul touched me and the world. But alas, that is not how the Universe works its’ plan. Yes, it is hard to live with the presence of mind to consider death may be a few heart beats away or two-three more conversations because then our mind tricks us into fearing the future and forgetting the presence. What a dichotomy. How to consider the fragility of life and be present with its’ wonder, love, and radiance?
I guess for me my lessons are numerous. The old adage of, “Choose your words carefully” comes to mind. The art of taking each step gingerly and with passionate abundance for life. Inviting acceptance into our hearts as this is an evolution of mind, body, and spirit that begins each day anew. Holding steadfastly to calm in the face of chaos and allowing one self to succumb to let go. Communicating with our loved ones with the depth and support needed. Connecting with an unwavering faith that the Universe does provide what is needed and we will be ok. This faith allows us to let go and be present and not get so caught up in plans. I have always been caught up in the plans of life and lost at times my connection to life. It is remembering we are all exactly where we need to be and it is right, perfect, and beautiful. My last words—cherish your breath, your body, your life and realize your heart’s capacity for love of yourself and the whole word expands.
Farewell, my dear friend and may your fastidious exit from this life forever reveal the gift of presence.

About Joy Rain

Joy has been a diversity and inclusion consultant and mediator for over ten years. Prior to consulting, she was professor of Psychology and Women Studies. Joy has a Master of Arts in Psychology (Boston University) and a Master of Education in Social Justice Education (UMASS Amherst).


One thought on “Life, Death & Presents

  1. Thanks for sharing your experience. It reminds me that you’re right. We should consider the fragility of life at all times. Something could happen at any moment to those around us, so we should always treat them with love and cherish them.

    If you have a fight with your family or friends, it’s good to keep in mind. You don’t have to think that this is their last day, but that they will, inevitably, have a last day. Eventually we’ll be ripped from all of those we love. Even knowing this in our heart makes all the little fights and squabbles so meaningless. We can laugh about it and don’t let ourselves get too caught up in our own ego.

    Thanks for the reminder. Sorry for your loss.

    Posted by dpisterzi | November 24, 2012, 11:38 pm

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